Conversations in my head...between me and ME...

Life goes a full circle
Mostly a repetition
Only the roles have changed
First it was you
Now its me
Saying I love you
But failing to define it
Asking questions
Maybe...it's not?
Or Maybe it is?
Or is it just a major obsession to fill in the empty seat beside me
Nod and smile to the passerby..
Proud of a prize I won
So its a prize?
Or a person, a God sent gift or a reflection of my soul?
But that's all theory
Practicality says
No staying alone
Impossible to survive
But some have...
Again I compare
No no...its my life
No comparisons
Every second unique...including me
But wasn't that the jargon the self help courses teach
First it was you
Now I am depressing for you
You say my home is depressing too
Five days and I haven't eaten proper
And the place I stay ( I call it that way for its just walls and windows)
Is but filled with things strewn around..
I just wanted the feel of chaos..
Sounds intellectual or something
More like a chaos theory...
But its just a covered up story I tell myself
The fact is..
I am broken
So is the place
I am packing my bags to leave....
The question is
Should I lock up the sadness
And throw it on the way
I wish things were that way
But it's not
Logic doesn't work here
See
I am standing right where you used to be.
I just could not subtract you
Or add up new feelings in me
All that happened is..feelings built
But now its too late
You are standing right where I used to be.